Death or Sandwich


Chains on Fire

The LORDS' Second Album! (2011)

Plan of Attack

The LORDS' Third Release! (2013)

Mail Order Merch

Note: Merch is usually cheaper at our shows. Why? To reward the faithful and brave warriors who venture out on the battlefield, of course! However, we know not all warriors who want to show their LORDS street cred can (geographically) get to our shows, so for those of you who can't, but still want to throw ALL your gold coins and pirate treasure at us, here's your solution!

Lords CDs (Physical Copies)

"JIMMY? I want one of them metal CDs. ...What!? iTunes? Mp3? What the heck is that? No Jimmy, I purchased this CD player back when it came out in 1982, and dagnabit, that's how I'm going to listen to my metal. ...Internet? You keep talking about that devil box, Jimmy, and I'm going to give you a whooping. Now take my credit card and call that internet company so I can get the CD!"

Death or Sandwich (2009) COMPLETELY SOLD OUT! Sorry.

Choose a CD:

Plan of Attack (2013) is "Pay what you want". We suggest $5 - $10. Please add $5 to your amount to cover shipping. For international shipping, please add $10.

A Very Lords of the Trident Christmas - Make your holidays METAL! This festive EP contains all of our Christmas Singles from 2010 - 2012 (Angels We Have Heard on High, O Come O Come Emmanuel, What Child is This, Slutty Santa), PLUS a BONUS TRACK of our "Huey Lewis and the News" Government Zero cover! This CD is sure to bring a smile to the face of Tiny Tims everywhere, right before their faces melt clean off.

"Pay what you want". We suggest $5 - $10. Please add $5 to your amount to cover shipping. For international shipping, please add $10.

1854 Japan Tour Shirt

Asian Metal was cleaning out his basement and found a box of old tour shirts from our 1854 Japan Tour. We had a raucous good time leaving a trail of carnage around Japan with the opening band - the thrash band Commodore Perry! Now a piece of LORDS history can be yours! Shirts are SUPER soft ringspun cotton, and the design is huge!


VERY LIMITED Teddy Bear Unicorn Shirt

Are you confident in your METALinity? PROVE IT by wearing the most METAL pink shirt you'll ever see in your LIFE! Design is printed in vinyl with the LORDS logo on the back. Shirts are SUPER soft ringspun cotton, and are EXTREMELY LIMITED. Seriously, we only have 15 shirts total. Once they're gone, they're GONE. Limited ladies shirts available at live shows. Design created by the incredibly talented and awesome Jenny Baylog!


"ONI" Longsleeve Shirt

Is old man winter making you uncomfortable? Perhaps Jack Frost is being a dick? Give them the finger with your LONGSLEEVE LORDS shirt! Guaranteed to keep you warm and comfy in the most METAL way possible. Shirts are 4.2oz ringspun cotton, so they are SUPER soft, and lighter than normal longsleeve shirts. At 14x20" the ONI design is the BIGGEST design we've ever printed! Design created by the incredibly talented and awesome Jenny Baylog!



Is that a knight wearing black skinny jeans uppercutting a cheetah-werewolf so hard that its head explodes all over the top of the shirt? ...yes, yes it is.


Death Card Shirt

Each shirt is made by hand by the band members in THE MOST METAL SWEATSHOP ON EARTH (also known as Fang's basement). Choose between Warrior's Blood Red, Classic Metal Black, and Deathly Pale White!




Werewolf Knife Fight Shirt

Art by local Madison-area artist Dan Fransee! He asked us what we wanted to do for our artwork on this shirt, and we had three words for him: "Werewolf. Knife. Fight". Two weeks later, this amazing shirt was born.


Lords Logo Shirt

Maybe you're one of those barbarians that doesn't like to stick out. Maybe you want a shirt that screams to the ladies, "I RULE TO THE MAXXXXX", but in a subtle way? Well then this shirt is the one for you! Blacker than the blackest black, and with the Lords of the Trident logo at the top.

Small, Medium and XL sold out, sorry!


Iron-On Embroidered Patches

Everyone knows that true minions are much better with FIREY STEEL than with SEWING KITS, which is why we have created these awesome embroidered Iron-on (and STEEL-on) patches. Your patched-up jean jacket is not complete without the most METAL patch ever! 3"x3"


Glow in the Dark Patches

You're a metal fan. You've got your jean and/or leather jacket all loaded up with patches from your favorite metal bands. You walk in a room, and people know what kind of music you like. But let me ask you - do any of those metal patches GLOW IN THE DARK!? No? Well, then obviously your jacket is LACKING, my friend.

Choose Type:

Lords Bumper Sticker

Stick it on your bumper, and all them ladies be like, "DAAAAAAMMMMMNNNNNN."


Lords Buttons

You just skinned your first lion after killing it with your bare hands. That's awesome. But how do you PROPERLY ACCESSORIZE this pelt? I mean, Tim Gunn is out of town, so who are you going to ask?

Psssh. Come on! Throw one of these buttons on it and BOOM! Fashion central.

(Available at shows only!!)

Live DVD - Chains on Fire CD Release Party

"There's no way a venue would allow a kevlar chain whip to be soaked in gasoline and set on fire, or fit an entire gregorian chant choir on stage with a band!" Wanna bet? Relive one of our best concerts to date - the Chains on Fire CD Release party! Two hours of live concert footage shot in HD! (BluRay option coming soon!)

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